Where’s My DeLorean?

 Usually, good things come in threes. Snap, Crackle and Pop. The Three Stooges. Labor Day Weekend. Alvin and the Chipmunks. Hanson. Back to the Future movies. But, nothing good has happened to the Coyotes the past three days.

Speaking of Marty McFly and Doc Brown, I wish I could go back in time. We went from great, disciplined hockey to amateur hour. It seems that if your team’s home city has two names in the title, we can’t beat you. It also doesn’t help when you play against two of the league’s top scoring machines (Anze Kopitar of the Kings and Marian Gaborik of the Rangers).

In a quick review of the Coyotes-Kings game: There wasn’t a single angry moan from the Doan Zone Saturday night, he had two goals and would’ve had a third if it wasn’t for another boneheaded penalty. The ‘Yotes continually forgot how many skaters were allowed to be on the ice at one time. The ‘Yotes did do a great job of killing a five-on-three power play but shortly thereafter Radim Vrbata was called for tripping and gave the five-on-three advantage right back to the Kings who surely didn’t mess that one up. Keith Yandle needs to learn how to handle a puck; another goal was gained by the opposition after some less-than-graceful puck handling by Yandle. Lauri Korpikoski was scratched and Paul Bissonnette lost a tooth. Saturday was just embarrassing.

Moving on, last night’s game was more of the same. The Rangers limped into Madison Square Garden carrying a three-game losing streak. So, naturally, I bet a friend a beer that the ‘Yotes would walk away with this one. There’s two bucks I’ll never see again.

I don’t know who showed up wearing Ilya Bryzgalov’s jersey and pads but it wasn’t Bryzgalov. The Rangers scored four goals on their first 11 shots and before you could shout out your favorite four-letter word the ‘Yotes were down and out. Gaborik scored two goals but luckily got hurt (surprised?) and couldn’t inflict any more damage. Remember Enver Lisin? He was the gent we traded Korpikoski for. Anyway, Enver “Webster” Lisin netted a goal and an assist while Korpikoski continued to see his playing time shrink and was a non-factor. Keeping with the theme, I shall try and find some good in these past two miserable games.

THREE STARS OF FANTASY:

3. Jason LaBarbera – filled in for Brizzy in New York and stopped 12 of 13 shots. He’s now 0-1-0 with a .942 save % and a 1.98 GAA in 2009.
2. Ed Jovanovski – has three assists and a goal thru the past two contests.
1. Shane “Handing Out Talent Loans” Doan – has two goals and an assist thru the past two. 

Moving off the ice, our owner, Jerry Moyes, has officially agreed to sell the ‘Yotes to the NHL. After the courts refused to let Jim Balsillie take over, the NHL will now oversee the normal operations of the club. The NHL will now look for an independent owner(s) and in all likelihood it seems that the organization will remain in the States. They should just sell the team to Pierre the Fanatic Hockey Snowman. He’s a great, inspirational leader.

Lastly, as we sit in fourth place and barely hold onto eighth place in the West, we realize that good things don’t always come in threes: Kopitar, Gaborik, Moyes.

Tags: Ed Jovanovski, Jason LaBarbera, Jerry Moyes, Keith Yandle, Lauri Korpikoski, Marian Gaborik, Pierre the Fanatic Hockey Snowman, Shane Doan